She didn’t take Gym with us but I always noticed that she wore a longer shirt that came to below her knees. In this day and age, that made her something to look at and wonder about.Her name was Martha and she was really shy so no one even knew much about her but when I noticed her walking alone one day, I went up to her and introduced myself. She was really nice and we became friends from that moment on. We ate our lunches together and would see each other in third period and after school. I began fantasize about seeing her naked sometimes and wished that she would give me a sign about if she knew anything about sex or not or whether she wanted to learn anything.One day after school, we met as usual out in front and walked part way home together. She lived in the same direction as we did but not really to close to go over and visit her home. On this particular bright spring day, she happen to mention that she didn’t have to be home until her mother got there and wondered if I. My breathing gets shallow and my hands curls up into fists. Now if I just had something to fight against. I have to move to get the excess energy out of my system or I start bouncing around like an over-sugared kid on a pogo stick. My jaw clenches, which in turn makes my head hurt, which makes me angry. I’ve been to counseling and we think we figured out what the problem is. I don’t like being unprepared and I have no idea what happens after you die. Do you go to Heaven/Nirvana or Hell/Hades or Valhalla or Olympus or the Seven Heavens? Is it the Abyss or the windswept plains of Archeron? Are you reincarnated? Can you be resurrected? Is there a Purgatory that you simply wait in for something to happen? Or do you simply cease to be? I think that one frightens me the most, because I don’t want to just ‘not be,’ you know? The others I could deal with, even if it’s Hell. At least I’d still be around. Even Purgatory would be an improvement, though from what I’ve read, it can be kinda.
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